xp_deadpool | (no subject)

(no subject)

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray... you'll never know, love, how much I want you... please don't take, my sunshine away.

You'll have to forgive me if the lyrics are wrong there. Tabitha Tabitha Smith (aka Paranoid Hot Chick) mumbles a bit when she sings. And believe you me, she's singing now. On my computer. Every time I log in. Okay, that's not entirely true. It's more like every time I log in and then do something stupid and curse at it. It's the cursing that makes the singing happen, maybe. Which isn't as bad as all that, since curse words are like jalapeños - you're meant to use them sparringly and for emphasis, right? Right.

Tabitha Tabitha Smith, I don't know how you did this, but I admire your brain right now.

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The song's probably just trying to lull you into a false sense of security before it blows up.

I dunno. I'm pretty sure I didn't hear any ticking or clicking and I didn't smell any chemicals on it, so I don't think it's gonna explode. I could be wrong. I will admit that I am fallible. I just don't think I am right this minute.

Not thinking you're wrong is always when you are.

You're right, Mighty Mouse. You're entirely correct. I've put the laptop in the shower and will dispose of it more appropriately later.

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You put the laptop in the shower? O.O Are you going to drown it?

Water will dampen (haha) the impact of the explosion and the walls of the shower are more insulated than anywhere else in the suite, so they'll take the brunt of the force that the water doesn't cushion.

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Dude, are you serious? Tabitha has explody powers. If she wanted to blow you up she could do it standing next to you, I'm pretty sure. You're totally probably killing an innocent laptop. think of the little laptops, man! You stole their mommy!

Too late. Mommy laptop is drowning... drowning... drowned.

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That's just wrong. You done took innocent life. You're goin' to hell for that one. No more caffeine for you.

I don't regret it. I feel the safety of those around me is more important than the life of one laptop.

Besides, you're the one who told me it'd probably explode. You're culpable.

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You're the one who believed me and thought I was telling the truth. You're way more culpable.

How was I supposed to know you're pants-on-head crazy about exploding laptops?

Think of the baby laptops you helped to orphan, Might Mouse. Think of them.

I don't really like kids all that much anyway.

You're funny. I like you.

Thanks. I think. I'm not sure if it's a good thing the crazy dude likes me.

The crazy dude is only crazy when it comes to possible explosives, so you're good. I do hereby dub thee Minion No. 1. We need to have a club house or something.

Does that mean you're going to put our librarian in the shower to try to drown her and dampen the impact of her explosions?

Uh, no. I would not be putting her in the shower to dampen the impact of her explosions. I'd be putting her in the shower because I wanted to see her naked. I've got priorities, man.

As long as you're not trying to drown her.

Kevin, what HAVE you done?

Got an innocent laptop drowned?

Oh, dear...

What, it's just circuits and wires and stuff. It had no feelings about being drowned.

But they're expensive! I kind of feel bad now...

Obviously you won't underestimate how totally nuts someone might be in the future then, huh?

I don't think I'll ever stop underestimating that. People will probably always surprise me.

Damn it, now I have to figure out how to make it up to him.

I hear his shower is lonely.

Helped me develop a wonderful plan, of course.

... The "oh, dear..." may bear repeating...

Definitely not trying to drown her, Minion No. 1. Definitely not that.

I suppose playing innocent would be useless...

Well, yes. Considering it's your voice.

Well, you could have had a tin ear!

You didn't really murder your laptop, did you?

I did. And then I got a new one. No more hacking for you.

If one were to go by the statistics of my history, I'm far more likely to plant bombs in food when someone makes me mad.

(I would note that I was 12 the last time I did that and haven't planted a bomb as a prank since.)

What on earth did you do to deserve that?

I gave her some flowers.

Edited 2011-02-24 13:03 (UTC)

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