(no subject)

[xp_deadpool]

So I got this fortune cookie tonight. It says, "A kind word will keep someone warm for years." Okay, fortune cookie. But I just keep thinking that setting them on fire will keep them warm for the rest of their lives!

Comments

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I made it home. In that time I've taken a monster nap, showered twice and eaten a Big Mac. Productive day.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, I forgot to go to McDonald's. I can't find my car keys in any of these takeout containers.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

How could you forget?

(This is why we need hamburger drones.)

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

I was so busy getting all the other food that I wasn't allowed to have for days and I didn't drive by one on the way here. Where are my keys?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Half of them are open 24 hours! There's still time! Calm down! Digest!

(Unrelatedly, were you keeping your chimichangas in my mini-fridge?)

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

... did you eat my chimichangas? Again?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

No, but they smell, and I need space for things!

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

They smell delicious, right?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

No! I think you've waited too long to eat these.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

I didn't wait! I wasn't allowed to eat them. But hey, if you put them in a plastic baggie, I can come pick them up tomorrow and give them to Cammie.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I'm just leaving the fridge shut and reconciling myself to warm soda.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human, too?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

You used my fridge! I just spent two weeks in Africa! I missed cold Coke!

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna marry her anyway - wait. Too much of that song. Remix!

Dude, go steal a cold drink from my fridge. I think it's mostly full of beer for Logan, but there's probably a Coke in there somewhere.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Nah, I'm in self-imposed exile until I can reassure everyone I'm not contagious.

Also, I don't want to leave my bed. It's comfy.