Carry On My Wayward Son

Anybody seen a shipment of Reese's Peanut Butter Trees come in? I mean, it'd be noticeable. Which is why I'm noticing it's not here. The tracking service says it's been delivered, but I'm pretty sure it got hijacked, since it's not where it's supposed to be.

In preparation for tomorrow, I share with you all the most holy text of my religion:





Tacos in the kitchen starting at three tomorrow afternoon. I totally foresee things spilling onto the porch/patio out back with the grill, so BYOB of soda or whatever. It'll run till we're out of food. Yes, veggie options available because I am not a heathen. Everyone's invited.

Fall's here, let's enjoy the dregs of summer... or something. Whatever. Taco Tuesday, guys. Taco Tuesday.

Bee tee dubs - I totally didn't write that. Pretty sure Kevin Hearne did. He's the Tacopope.

Can I enroll at a university for just one course? Cause I kinda want to. Like, "Taco Literacy: Public Advocacy and Mexican Food in the U.S. South" just sounds delicious. And they expect me to eat tacos. I could just follow along from here, but. "Sorry, can't do the thing, gotta run to taco class."

Right, mansionites. This is your friendly, pre-party reminder. Saturday's Halloween. There's a party. The theme's Horror-ble Historical Figures. Get creative, friends. Everybody's welcome. We'll have music. We'll have food. We'll have candy. We'll have drinks. No alcoholic beverages for the under 21's, sorry.

Any questions or concerns, feel free to ask me or Skittles.

So, happy Independence Day, American friends and mansionmates. Cookout tonight. Potluck style. Kyle, I nominate you for grill master status. Jubes, I expect fireworks. Lots of 'em. Impressive ones. Can you make dragons happen? Is that a thing you can do? You should do that.

So I smelled food and went to see what was going on where the food was. I knew there was a thing planned for today, but I wasn't expecting an actual dunk tank full of pudding. What's the prize for winning the three-legged race? I'm pretty sure me and the ladybird could own that.

I would like to be in the UK right now so that I could go to this. But since I'm not and I can't, I think I'll go camping instead. Skittles, can you get me (and anybody who might wanna come, yourself included) to Yellowstone? (Geysers, guys.) There will be lots of beer. And possibly TV if I can convince Doug to come. And possibly actual hunting. Maybe. It depends on how motivated I'm feeling. Or whoever's with me's feeling. You in? You out?

I feel like someone was trying to be really funny when they left eight bobble-headed table dancers, seven packs of redman, six cans of spam, five flannel shirts, four big mud tires, three shot gun shells, two plush hunting dogs, and some parts to a Mustang GT in the common area of me and Clarice's suite, but like. Dude, you got it all backward. The twelve days of Christmas start December 25, they don't end on it. So whoever you are, thank you for the gifts! I'm sure I can put them to good use somehow. Just give me all that stuff like in January next time or something.

Mind. Blown.

So I got this fortune cookie tonight. It says, "A kind word will keep someone warm for years." Okay, fortune cookie. But I just keep thinking that setting them on fire will keep them warm for the rest of their lives!