xp_deadpool | (no subject)

(no subject)

This is definitely my kind of car ad. I'm tempted to fly to Seattle to buy the thing just so I can drive it back. Or maybe that's just my now almost undeniable desire to grow a beard. I'll tell you what else I want - flannel. I should own more flannel. And an ax. I suddenly want nothing more in this moment than to be a lumberjack when I grow up.

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Wade, did you ... eat the brownies that were in the paper wrapper in the kitchen? Because you should not have done that.

There are brownies in the kitchen?

You should not eat them, they are for work, which is why they have a note that says "Do not eat these, they are for work."

But if you come over you can have left over mu shu.

Sold! I'll be there in 45.

Jesus is a lumberjack?

I'm glad this isn't a math problem where a = b = c cause I don't really wanna be Jesus.

But, I don't understand... the car is Jesus Tap Dancing and you just said you wanted to grow a beard. Jesus had a beard. Thus, you want to be Jesus! But I don't understand the flannel unless he was also a lumberjack...

I'm pretty sure Jesus was a lumberjack at some point, McFrosty. Probably that part of the Bible that's missing. But Jesus has to go around saving people all the time. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't qualify for the job.

Poor guy. If I knew a Lady Percy, I'd take her to one of his shows.

That's a sad song, Anakyle. But you're right, I don't look a thing like Jesus.

He has a beard. He was a carpenter. It is very likely.

Carpenters are lumberjacks?

There is a certain wood...theme....?

That's like saying dogs and firemen have a theme because they both pee on hydrants. No, wait, I mean they both use hydrants. They have a hydrant theme, I mean.

Adrienne, my friend, I think you have successfully managed to make less sense than me. Congratulations!

Jean started it!

And you finished it!

I'll finish yer face!

Huh?

Themes. Fire hydrants are a theme for dogs and firemen. It's totally logical. Sort of.

It's every bit as logical as lumberjacks and carpenters having a wood theme!

Hey hey hey...I have been patching up people all day at the clinic in District X. I am frankly surprised I am coherent...okay I'm not.

Turn that frown upside down, ladydoc.

I'm not frowning, I'm relaxing my face muscles.

You should come over. I have alcohol.

You are a kind-hearted and dear friend. I will cherish you and your alcohol always.

While using both responsibly, I trust?

You work all night and you sleep all day?

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay!

You cut down trees?
You skip and jump?
You like to press wildflowers?
You put on women's clothing
and hang around in bars?

I plead the fifth!

Heard that a lot in DC...

Wade, dear, darling roommate of mine.

If you turn into a lumberjack, I'm getting Marie-Ange and we are going to tie you up and shave you. Then burn the flannel.

love,

Skittles.

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